Living in the Information Age can be a double-edged sword, especially for children. We have immediate knowledge of world events and information from a variety of sources literally at our fingertips, but we are also flooded with shocking, difficult-to-forget images and heartbreaking stories. This information is hard to stomach and navigate as adults, and it is even more difficult for children. Children are often very disturbed by images of war and other crisis situations, and, because their minds have not developed enough to be able to see the “big picture,” everything feels personally relevant to them. Children also receive information from peers that could be exaggerated, and could leave them feeling scared and anxious.
Here are a few ideas for supporting children through these difficult experiences.
Limit exposure to news and social media talking about the crisis. Expose your child (and yourself!) enough to stay informed, but try to limit it to one or two programs/sites or a certain time limit (probably no more than an hour). If graphic and disturbing scenes are being shown, turn it off. You can tell your child that you’re turning it off because you love them and don’t want them to possibly have bad dreams.
When watching or listening to news about crises, be open to any questions your child may have, even if they seem silly or irrelevant. Kids often latch onto details that are meaningful to them, and will often try to make sense of the bigger picture by making sense of the details.
After exposure to stories about the crisis, check in with your child and ask them how it felt to see/hear the information. For younger children, you may need to ask about specific emotions since they usually don’t have the vocabulary or ability to identify the feeling. This is a good time to share your feelings about it too and normalize the idea that this is hard stuff to digest (i.e., “When we watched that, I felt really sad and a little scared. How are you feeling after watching that?).
If your child wants to do something to help the people involved in the crisis, encourage them to explore this. In situations that feel out of control, we all can minimize our stress and anxiety levels by focusing on the things within our control. When kids say they want to do something to help, they are instinctively trying to feel like they have some power in a situation that feels very powerless. It is also a great way to use some of the anxious energy they might be experiencing. Help them brainstorm and research ways that they can help, and support them even if it seems silly and insignificant to you. Donating $18 from a lemonade stand to the Red Cross might be a drop in the bucket, but the value it adds to your child’s mental health is priceless.
Encourage play, creativity, and laughter to help diffuse and balance the heaviness. Invite your child to play games, use their imaginations, draw, paint, write, dance, watch silly cat videos, etc.
Give extra affection and attention. Your child may be feeling scared and uncertain based on things they’re hearing on the news and from other kids. Kids can have a hard time articulating their feelings and their need for support, so pre-empting this with hugs, back rubs, quality time, etc., will go a long way. This is also a great time to help them develop skills for soothing themselves.
Check in with your child often. Hard and scary things can take a while to sink in for kids, and they might seem fine and playful after watching the news, but the things they saw and heard might solidify the next day, and they might be a little (or a lot) “off” with no apparent reason. Regular check-ins about how they are doing and being curious about what they are thinking about will help them feel supported and give them a healthy outlet for all the things that may be on their minds. Checking in also includes asking them for what they might be needing (alone time, play, creative outlets, time with friends, hugs, etc.).
Take good care of yourself! This can't be stressed enough. These types of experiences are extremely difficult for adults as well, and keeping yourself regulated is probably the most important thing you can do for your child. Limit your own exposure to news/social media, get support from friends and family, find your own way to connect with a sense of personal power and control, play, create, laugh, and do whatever you can to take care of and soothe yourself when you’re having your own big feelings about this experience.
These are a few ideas, and I would encourage you, above all else, to just be aware that all of the stuff going on in the world can impact your child deeply. They might start acting out, they might have nightmares, they might be more clingy, more isolated, etc., all of which are very typical responses. If these problems persist over several weeks, and/or if they are interfering significantly with school, health, and relationships, please talk to your child’s doctor and/or consult with a mental health professional. Please feel free to contact me via email at embowman@hotmail.com if you have questions or need help finding support.
Commentaires